Today I am going to talk about focusing on positivity to help with self-care. I know that some people think that this topic is taboo, but let me tell you. I’ve been on both sides. I’ve been at the lowest low and the highest high and I think that focusing on positivity is a choice. We are all given things to deal with in our life. We all have bad things happen. The only thing we can control is how we react.

“What you choose to focus on becomes your reality”- Unknown

I believe that setbacks are not always a bad thing, it is an opportunity to learn and grow. You can learn from everything. For example, I was in a terrible relationship with a man that I believe truly did not care about me or my well-being. After our relationship, I thought it was the end of the world. I honestly never thought I would escape the debilitating depression I was in. One day, I finally stopped feeling so sorry for myself and discovered how lucky I was that I just went through a bad breakup and not a divorce. I was lucky to not spend even one more second with someone who could not see my value.

I like to think that I used my experience to grow as a person. Now, I am even more grateful for the small things that my husband Shane does for me. I made certain that the person I was going to spend my life with was the right person for me. I gave myself space and time to heal, and now I know how to get through whatever life throws my way.

“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” -Socrates

I’ve learned a lot about this topic from my husband Shane. He never lets anything stop him! Every time something bad happens, he doesn’t even bat an eye. He inspires me to try harder to focus on the positive every single day. I will share a few examples that I have.

One time, we missed our flight to LA. I was freaking out; I didn’t know what to do. Shane very calmly got in line to talk to an airline representative. We paid a little bit of money (maybe $50) and we had new flights to LA. Yes, we were a few hours later, but everything ended up working out just fine.

This past September, Shane and I went to Hawaii. On the flight there, Shane’s tooth started to ache immensely. By the time we actually landed, his face had swollen a ton. We had to make an emergency dentist appointment for the next morning. It was a failed root canal, so Shane actually had to get his tooth pulled. Did he let it ruin our whole vacation? Nope. The day after he had his tooth pulled, he was ready for the next adventure. He did not let it faze him one bit. People are amazed when they hear this story. Before I tell them the ending, people are always saying “I bet that ruined your whole vacation.” Not even close.

So how can you practice focusing on positivity?

When something happens that is not ideal, see what your first thought is. I don’t know about you, but I’ve had thoughts like “here we go again” or “that just ruined my …”. When these thoughts come to your mind, stop them. Try to think things like “what can I learn from this” or “what can I do to prevent this from happening again”.

Accept that whatever happened, happened and move on. You get to control how you react. Do you want to draw more negative things toward you? You can even feel the bad emotions for a few seconds, if it makes you feel better, but then choose to put those aside and move forward.

Try to find the silver lining in the situation. Sometimes I know this is very hard, but most of the time you can find something. I catch myself thinking things like, “well maybe if I had left at that exact moment, something bad would have happened to me”. I know it sounds weird but it really helps me to get over simple problems.

Ask yourself honestly if you are overreacting. I know when something goes wrong this is usually me. I forgot my coat at home, so I guess this ruins my whole day since I don’t get to go snowboarding now. Why couldn’t I just go home and get it?

Am I perfect with practicing this? Absolutely not. I struggle every day with it, but I always try to choose to focus on the positive. Sometimes, I still need help. All you have to do is make an effort to try and it will help you so much.

I hope that you enjoyed today’s post. Please let me know in the comments below what you think about this. If you loved today’s post please subscribe, it would really mean a lot to me.

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